Paris Diaries: travelling alone taught me this
Travelling alone taught me a lot in just a few days. Since I left my house in London and came back fromParis I felt I was putting a puzzle together.
I vision it like a metaphoric explanation of life. It taught me problem solving, and to always look on the beautiful side.
I’ve traveled alone in the past but I was always visiting a country where I had family and friends and was familiar with the language and culture.
Here are a few life strategies I learnt on this 4 day trip. Maybe you can too :)
Challenged my limiting beliefs
Ever since I remember, I was always on a plane travelling with my family.
My travelling experience growing up was tough with my family. There was a lot of rushing and disorganised planning. “We’re going to be late, did you do this, do you get that, what did you forget, it’s not time to joke or laugh”.
There was a lot of pressure in time, stress, and financial. When I say financial, I mean there was always caution that I felt stemmed from fear rather than wisdom.
Travelling alone brought my attention and awareness to the limiting beliefs there were within me. These beliefs were manifested into moments within my trip.
The time came that every limiting belief that was programmed in my system had to be cleared and healed through challenges within my trip.
You’re travelling with an inner child
On that day, I missed my train going to Gatwick. All of a sudden I felt like I was a four year old about to cry, I felt abandoned. And this wasn’t usually the way I ever dealt with circumstances like this. I think because emotionally my subconscious mind was new to travelling to somewhere new. I’ve travelled to Paris as child with family, but the experience was a first.
I also heard the voice my one of parents in my head, “You never get things right. Where was your mind? When are you ever going to be responsible?” My mind was telling me all sorts of things and I felt like a failure, which again I don’t normally feel.
Instantly, I figured it out. I let myself feel my emotions, then I tried to understand why I’m reacting like this.
Then I realised something that made my body shiver …
I saw a child inside of me scared. A child that didn’t feel safe and comfortable. Scared of judgement. Judgement of people who weren’t even there, they weren’t even responsible for me anymore. It wasn’t just me travelling, there was a child with me on this trip.
I found the train assistant and reassured me that the next train will be coming in 15 mins.
Taught Me How To Talk To Myself
Call me crazy? We all do it. We all speak to ourselves. Loud or silently.
But this time I was speaking to my child self. I imagined kneeling down to a four year old and I reassured her that she can be safe with me. I told her, it’s ok if you missed the train. You did a good job leaving early. Do you know how many people miss their trains and airplanes? Plus you’ll never know what you could have avoided in that train.
My body began to relax and I felt so much better.
This is just one example. And I still keep using this tactic in my everyday life.
That I’m actually a very fun person even when I’m alone.
I’m known to be an extrovert. I love weddings, parties, family gathering. I love people.
In the last year, I’ve turned into a mild introvert. I wouldn’t say an introvert, but there’s like 80 percent less people in my life than I had before.
Amongst people I was always told that I created a fun environment, and people enjoyed my company. That’s why I always liked to travel with a group or at least one person.
The idea of travelling alone seemed boring to me. And it actually gave me a little bit of anxiety. I thought that you could only have fun with others and not so much with yourself.
But the day came where I had to break through this limiting belief.
I actually enjoyed my time alone. My adventure was great.
Really if you can create fun for others, you can definately create it on your own.
Because it’s within you
I learnt that comfort comes before anything.
Now, I definitely learned this the hard way. I’m not a person who usually goes cheap on hotels but I am one of those who comprises on something specific to save an extra £100.
I did that and I regretted it. Because let me tell you, you will end up spending more.
When it comes to the luxury of your safety and sleep this is number one.
So.. I basically booked a beautiful bedroom with a french balcony on Bookings.com. It didn’t have any reviews; that was the first alarm bell and I ignored it. I guess that was part of the Universes plan?
Anyways.. my heart was between the one I booked but was honestly leaning towards a another specific hotel. I chose to save £150.
When I got to Paris I got in the Uber car, and on the way I realised that they’d cancelled my booking. Yes it was cancelled on the day, hours before my arrival.
My heart literally sank. I got off and I was in the middle of the streets of Paris at midnight. The booking was a scam.
After a good two hours I managed to sort everything out. I went to another hotel for one night.
Why all this? Probably because I chose to save £150.
It defiantly challenged subconscious stingy habits. I realised that these habits occur with the self rather than with other people. When I think of stinginess its always my perception of how little you give to other people. And I come from a culture where we love hosting and being generous. But realistically, stinginess can be by how little you’re give to yourself.
This strategy goes with everything: Food, transport, clothes, anything to do with lifestyle. Your comfort comes first. We assume we choose our comfort but in reality we’ve been programmed to choose the cheaper option.
I then affirmed that I am worthy of staying somewhere that is comfortable and safe.
Obviously this doesn’t mean splurging and breaking into your savings.
Balance is the answer.
It challenged my faith, a lot.
I think with all what happened since I set my foot in the station in London, I was being directed to increase my faith. We always have strong faith in our parents, family members, our partners. But there comes a time where you’re going to have to do something all alone.
Sometimes those people will be asleep, they won’t be awake to answer your phone call. But the Creator doesn’t sleep.
How high is your ego in asking for help
When I had the hotel incident, I avoided contacting my partner and asking him for help. My ego was telling me you don’t need anyone. You have yourself. You’re enough on your own. Obviously with the excuses it’s midnight, nobody’s going to answer etc.. i felt like i was listening to a cassette.
Then I remembered that story of the priest who was about to drown. He was calling God ‘save me save me’. A boat came along to save him, and he said ‘go away, God will save me.’ It happened three times until he drowned. When he went back to God, he asked God why didn’t you save me? Then God told him: I sent you three boats and you didnt want to get on.
The ego forms a false perception and ideology about God and faith. We assume we know how God works until we realise otherwise.
I surrendered in the end and called my partner.
To always plan your trip based on quality and not quantity
Like, I mentioned earlier always choose comfort. If you’re staying 1 week because you have so many tours planned, narrow down your tours to the most things you love to do and reduce the amount of days.
Choose luxury.
This will allow you to save money, time and energy on unnecessary tours. You can upgrade your trip and go to higher rated restraunts, spas, and ditch public transport if it’s within your capability.
Choose peace of mind.
Also, choose WISELY who you are going to buy souvenirs for. This is so important.
Limit your circle. Choose three (or whatever you feel comfortable with, less or more) dearest people to your heart.
I grew up around family members who obsessed about buying gifts. It was a ritual. I was guilty of that too at one point but gladly I broke free.
Moral of the story is if it causes you stress, don’t do it. If you are happy buying the souvenir and you get a sense of joy and warmth in your heart when you imagine the person receiving it, then its worth it.
You’ll spend the trip with so much ease and enjoyment.
To do what you love not was is familiar
We can get caught up by all the information we retrieve from vloggers, family member, and trip recommendations online.
For example, just because the Le Louvre museum is one of the highlights of Paris it doesn’t mean you have put it on your tour list.
If you’re not a museum or art kinda person, take it off your list. I definitely didn’t do that because I love art, architecture and history. It’s literally my thing.
But for instance, I thought the Champs-Élysées was a waste of time for me. It’s literally the Oxford street of France. Btw I’m not saying it’s not nice. The shops there are amazing for someone who’s going to do shopping.
We could argue that people go to see the famous Arc de Triomph but for me it wasn’t really a big deal considering I was staying for four days only. Plus we have a lot of similar architecture in the UK.
I figured out that I was visiting certain places because I felt like when I’d get back I’ll be bombarded by questions: did you go to the Champs-Élysées? And if I said no I’d get the biggest ‘WHHHAT??’ Of my life. You went to Paris and didn’t go to the Champs-Élysées??? Now just to clarify something…
I didn’t think of this literally, but I’m speaking from a subconscious state of mind. How many of you have been to a tourist attraction when you don’t really care about it. You realise at the end that you went, took a few photos and left and hardly even remember the experience.
Do your research ofcourse. And pick what you love.
Reset my mindset about what is known about the culture
OMG this is a huge one.
This reminds me of when foreigners visit Egypt, or when I’d show them photos of Hurghada, Cairo hotels and malls they’ll be like ‘WHAT? That’s Egypt?? Isn’t Egypt a desert and full of camels?’ Or when I say I got an Uber.. then they say “There’s Uber in Egypt?’
I learned it’s not what you always hear or see on from people or social media. I’m going to be honest, I heard a lot about France, and their cultural society growing up. I went there with a made up perception already. Luckily, I learned to reset my mind on the first day.
The best advice I would give is to delete everything anyone has said to you about whatever country you’re visiting, especially if it’s negative. It could ruin your trip.
I had a negative experience with an Uber driver as soon as I got to France. He was so stressed and angry that I was shocked he was even accepted to be employed on Uber. He drove so fast out of anger, he kept banging the steering wheel, and when I was about to ask if I could charge my phone, he said ‘non non’ in an aggressive manner before I even finished my sentence. I literally panicked.
Why did this happen?
It was my conditioned mind about the French culture, and that became manifested into my reality. I saw what I expected, a false perception built by others.
Btw, I realised this mistake straight away, and I said I’m going to meet good and kind people and I kid you not, the rest of my taxi and Uber rides were phenomenal. We became friends, and now I have contact with trusted taxi drivers.
That change of my mindset changed my entire trip.
Tests your patience
My patience was tested with money, people, and many things.
I learned that patience is primary in ones life.
Patience stems from love.
And love is patient.
Appreciate the beauty
Finally, appreciate the beauty of everything. Sometimes we might see something as negative but we could lack a deeper meaning and understanding of it.
I was in Monmatre Village. There was a man who was playing the guitar, and had a cat on his shoulder. As everyone was watching him, a man comes closer to pet his cat. He quickly extends his hand out and pushes him away. He didn’t touch him, but he was telling him to back off. The way he rejected I saw was harsh, and rude. I thought to myself why couldn’t he just say no in a polite manner?
But what could the reality be?
It didn’t matter what the reality was. For me, I took something beautiful out of it and that’s all that mattered. I learnt that if a man loves his cat so much to respect his cats boundaries then this is one of my biggest lessons of self-love and to honestly learn to set my boundaries. I began to research the topic deeply after I witnessed this situation.
I don’t agree with generalising, but maybe French people aren’t snobs like they say. Maybe they cherish their boundaries, and are so defensive about what they dislike. Maybe that’s just the way they express themselves.
I mean I can learn from that still.
I wish you all days full of love and peace. Please leave your feedback, and message me with any content you would like to see next.
I literally appreciate your feedback. It makes my day :)
