Sorry, but I’m Married

I hate this phrase.

I was in Paris, on a holiday on my own for the first time. All the other times I’ve travelled I’ve had friends or family to travel to, or my partner would be with me, or I’d be accompanied with friends. This time I was alone, in a country where I didn’t know anybody. I was in Monmantre Village, sitting in a cafe enjoying my time. I didn’t have an idea of the French culture and how things worked especially in the dating world. I had an idea obviously from what I’d heard about romantic French novels and movies, but this was reality, the 21st century.

The waiter, who was very polite and had a very familiar sense of humour hands me a phone with my order, and he asked if I would go out with him. I didn’t really think much of it, so i took the time to respond back to him. As I was responding to thank him for the offer but would have to decline, I was going to say the same old known response we hear, ‘sorry but I’m married’, and just let get it over and done with, then I paused. I thought to myself no, it’s not because I’m married, it’s because I have values, I respect who I am, because I love myself and appreciate the connection I have with my creator. I don’t need to be married to set healthy boundaries and limits to my core dignity and values. If being married is the only thing that will stop me from not respecting my spirit soul and body, then do i even respect and value it? I worship a higher power, not my marriage status.

I’ve realised that it also sounds like, sorry I would love to accept your offer but the only obstacle is my husband. When that isn’t the truth. Plus I don’t need to state it if I’m wearing an obvious ring on my wedding finger.

So i then said, thanks for your offer, but i would have to decline. And with all respect he didn’t insist and he just said don’t worry it’s totally fine with a smile on his face.

These are the type of things women learn on their journey travelling alone. Coming from a background where a woman is seen weak travelling alone because she can easily be manipulated or in many cultures, she’s easily seduced by the devil.

Here i am, standing strong, respecting my values, and sacredly honouring this beautiful soul I’ve been given. Allah my creator is the one and only who is watching over me.

This goes to all my beautiful sisters out there. Don’t let anyone doubt the strength of your faith, just because you’re a female.

Women know how to say NO.